wake up and smell the roses.
slow and steady wins the race.
phrases we’ve heard far too often, but clearly not enough.
Ever since the 2016 election results we’ve experienced here in the States, I’ve entered a dark side of the ego. not so much the soul because the soul is always light. 2016 has been a massive ego death year for me. With 2016 being a 9 year, there has been a theme of completion to help clear space for what no longer serves so that we can allow in what’s in store. Being a 9 myself, it was inevitable for me to really run with this year and focus on the task at hand. I’ve felt the momentum approaching. 2017 marks 6 years of embarking on my brand. Over the years, I never knew what it meant to slow down. I was warned a year ago that I needed to slow down, but it was a foreign topic until November 9th came around.
Simply put, I got my spiritual ass beat. Growing up in the restaurant industry, there is no such thing as slowing down. You are hustling to please your customers, running food and flipping tables. While I closed the chapter of working at my family’s restaurant after returning from Burning Man this year, I’ve had to learn what it meant to slow down. As a Gemini Sun, Leo Rising, I’m a spitfire. Growing up, found myself erratic and out of control, especially when I was young, insecure, and obnoxious. Some people couldn’t keep up. If people couldn’t accept me for me, then so be it. I’ve never allowed it to stop me from being the lighthouse. It wasn’t until I reached the threshold where I was forced to slow down was I able to see the lessons coming through.
For two weeks, I mourned. I had a difficult time leaving the house. I slept. I accomplished things on my lists I’ve been putting off for months. I didn’t touch my computer. I visited Joshua Tree twice in three days. I spent time outside, getting to know my neighbors. I took the time to be with my dog, Bud. And most of all, I practiced radical self-care.
When you take on this role of a spiritual teacher, you are constantly helping others. This is all I’ve known. I had to push away the people I love the most because deep down I knew I couldn’t give them the love I genuinely wanted to give them because I needed to learn to be selfish and love myself first. Growing up a people pleaser and in the service industry has been the greatest blessing and curse at the same time. I love to give, but it got to the point that I wasn’t giving to myself as much as I was giving to others.
Since taking the time to honor my soul, I’ve been able to recognize the patterns in my life. I’ve seen that up until now, I’ve loved others more than I’ve loved myself. I’ve seen that up until now, I’ve forgiven others far easier than I’ve forgiven myself. I’ve seen that up until now, I honored others more than I’ve honored myself. I’ve been living with a cup that isn’t full.
Slowing down has allowed me to fillith my cup and allow it to overflow. I’ve allowed myself the time to honor my soul by keeping up with new habits and rituals. This overhaul is presenting me the opportunity to embark on a new lifestyle where I allow myself to flow with Shakti and to simply be. This breathing space is allowing me to live my life the way I’ve always wanted to live. As I am slowly making my way back into the world, I’m allowing myself to appreciate the little things. I’m reminding myself time and time again that all of this is being Divinely Guided and it’s allllll on Divine Timing.
Everything we are going through is simply preparing us for what we’ve asked for. I asked God years and years ago to allow me to live a life where I am of service. A life where all beings are happy and free. A life where I am living on purpose. A life where I am contributing to humanity. A life where I am a healthy mother. A life where I get to be a global citizen and help developing countries. A life where I get to express my god-given talents with ease and grace. A life where I love unconditonally. A life where my partner and I are a power couple who can move mountains together. A life where it feels effortless and simple, yet expanded and adventurous. So yeah, I’ve asked God for an extravagant life because I know I am worthy of living a life beyond my wildest dreams.
This road hasn’t been the easiest. I’m witnessing and recognizing that when I do allow myself to slow down, I’m able to appreciate what’s in front of me. I find myself appreciating the challenges because I know they are making me stronger and wiser. I appreciate the shitty times too because I know they are coming up to be healed and released. All of this is divinely guided and when you slow down, you are able to see the miracle everyday. As I continue to go out into the world and shine my light, I choose to live my life on purpose, inspiring those to whom I cross paths that they have full permission to slow down and appreciate what life is presenting to them. This moment is a gift many souls wish they can experience. Slowing down has allowed me to be focused, committed, driven, and appreciative. Slowing down has allowed me to be more compassionate, empathetic, and softer. If we all slow down, we can anchor in what it is we truly desire. If we slow down, we can tune in to the quiet whisper spirit speaks to us. If we slow down, we can make smart choices that will benefit the highest benevolence. If we slow down, we allow ourselves to tune in to our breath and remember why we are here.
How are you slowing down? I would love to hear what having that moment of Zen is doing for your life. Write in the comments below and share your healing transformation.