For 5 years, I was afraid to speak my truth on what was really on my heart. Doing my best to “fit in” the yoga community while doing my best to also figure out who I am, I realized I was hiding in the spiritual closet. For years, I was afraid to shine my light because I carried shame after a difficult LSD experience. After feeling like I disappointed society, I carried that shame until very recently. Over the years, I dove into deep self-study, doing whatever I could to heal myself and honor my pain body that arose, meaning I was here to take responsibility for my life and reclaiming my sovereignty over my life, health, and happiness. That experience gave me permission to love myself for the first time. Working through an episode of psychosis + PTSD, I allowed myself to be a hermit, even from those I loved most, because I was afraid to contaminate them with my pain and energy. This made me more in my ego and more separated from those who cared for me and wanted me to get better. I began practicing Kundalini Yoga and it changed my life, but I had a difficult time comparing myself to my teachers. That made me feel like I was living an inauthentic life and was shaming my journey and my story. It got to the point where I needed to stop playing small and start being real + vulnerable. So here I am, thank you, Venus Retrograde + Virgo Moon!
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I’ve been hiding in the psychedelic closet for years, but it wasn’t until doing Burning Man sober back in 2016 that I began to truly make peace with my past. As this Venus Retrograde goes direct on the 5 year anniversary of that difficult LSD experience + with the Full Moon in Virgo, my moon sign, I’ve allowed myself to dive in deep and truly recognize where I’ve been playing small and where the pain from my past is lingering into my future. Since coming back from Costa Rica, I’m seeing more clearly that I am here to help serve psychedelic souls who see the world through technicolor lenses, finding the beauty and gift in every breath. I also have been hearing the call to help psychedelic souls transcend the limiting belief that if they want to enjoy themselves, they need to be consuming medicines. I have a dream of seeing a world where there’s balance and moderation in the psychonaut community of conscious gatherings. This is the very reason why I love to teach Kundalini Yoga at festivals. I want to help support people to get there on their own. We mustn’t rely on something outside of ourselves for us to get to higher states of consciousness, but at the same time, we mustn’t shame or judge our brothers and sisters who do decide to consume medicines for everyone is on their own journey. As with the yoga community, I have a dream to help them open their eyes and to make peace with their past and to hold space for our brothers and sisters who are struggling. I’ve been there and to feel judged or as though you need to follow a certain dogma in order to be spiritually driven is part of the old paradigm. We are here to birth new paradigms and to bridge the gap from any differences amongst our brothers and sisters. I want to help those and support those who are in a place where I once was.
IN THIS EPISODE I TALK ABOUT…
↠ my journey through a difficult LSD experience
↠ bridging a gap + building new paradigms between the conscious party + yoga community
↠ the importance of reclaiming your sovereignty by embracing vulnerability
↠ why the world is waiting for you to embrace who you really are
↠ paving the road by you being authentically you!
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